Hello once again, this is the 3rd and hopefully not final edition of my journal here, and this is a big one. Big? how? you may ask, well, maybe in content, maybe in en relevant, but as I type this I'm not even so sure myself. Well, let me give a quick list of what is going to happen *reaches into the small bag attached to her hip fulling our a finely crumpled piece of paper. Also please don't run form the pic at the top, just the real me, as you can see, Amber is no where as cute as Lynn.
Ok, Well, A little while ago a great friend of mine helped me understand what was important in life, I realized that I was only trying to make others happy, and never myself, and because of that I made many life style choices only because others had wanted me to, So I'm defiantly going to get into that. I've had some real life issues with friends,I'll skip that, A lot of things have happed to Lynn, I'll speak of that, and I have had some health problems, I think I'll briefly mention that.
Ok, because this is mostly about my second life, and not my real life (I mean... why hear about the girl when you can hear about the cow) I'll keep this brief. If you remember from my first blog post (It's on this same page go look if you don't I'll wait...... ok? you read it? good, then I'll go on) I spoke of my life style, thats I was a FA, a Gainer, a SSBBW, well guess what? I was so wrong, I was only those things as thats what people wanted me to be, I had a semi rough
life (Haven't we all?) and honestly have just been a nerdy submissive girl with a extream self hate/depression. Well this led me to look for acceptance, I have always been a big girl, that's a fact, but I never liked it or wanted to be bigger until I had guys wanting me to. It was never me, it was my desire to maybe be loved, to be accepted... Well no more! I know what it was now, and I'm not going to be your sideshow anymore (And yes I do expect some of the people to read this) So as of now, Im Amber Lynn ____ (Think I would really give my last name? hehe) I'm a huge girl, who is on a path to lose the extra weight and be what I want to be, not what others want.
I have a great friend to thank for all of this, as she was the only one who looked at who I was and was able to see I was truly not happy at all, she saw the sadness when I did my best to hide it, or blame it on something else. I won't mention her name as I respect her privacy, but she is part of the DD community, so in a way I owe my life to DD, or at least my happiness. You know who you are that helped me, and I will never be able to say thank you enough.
Now, real life, that being said, I've lost like 40 pounds in the last 4 months, Which is a great start, it really shows how fast they can melt off when your actually trying not to put them on. That being said, I have been having some.... well internal medical problems, this has caused me a considerable amount of pain, and has led to a few surgeries, So if anyone was wondering what I dissapeared from DD as much as I have, or why my visits were so short... well thats why. Good news is, first surgery is done, I'm feeling much better already, and I only need one more surgery as soon as I'm healed enough for it, then Lynn will be back in Full swing.
Now as for Lynn, Well, I feel bad I have neglected her as much as I have, she needs friends as much as I do, and for me to turn my back on her when her character is nearly as stressed as mine is such a shame. Lynn has know the love of a Master, the love of Sisters, and has had both taken from her, something that even brought me sadness just from watching Lynn lose so much, She had all she desired, and lost more then she knew, all without her having any hand in it. So Lynn was looking down for a while, as as a reflection of me, the other events of my life led to a very mopey depressed Lynn for a while, both me as Lynn and as Amber would like to say sorry for that, neither me in role play or outside take well to being abandoned, and get really scared and sad when it happens. Especially when it meant a lot. I'll never be over it, just eventually scars heal, It will just take some time.
Now, with all the behind, Lynn's life is looking up, My new Mistress Cara is kind to her, Lynn does not see her Mistress nearly enough, but is thankful someone will have her regardless. Lynn really is truly devoted to those she serves, and will give all of herself to make the person happy (why does this seem like real life more and more). With her past behind her Lynn will probably take some time to get back to as cheery as she was before, but it will come, just give her time. That being said, Lynn want to take out these feeling in some way, she is still in Glint with a Fake passport, which maybe a citizen with rights could get out of, but being a Sister... well she does fear what may happen to her. Also Lynn has been talking to other girls about stirring things up, about causing a little trouble, Will Lynn ever actually get anything together, who knows? but in her mind for once she is going to be the bad girl, and no one will be able to stop her (Prove her wrong if you can.)
I guess that mostly sums everything up. once again, I very much welcome questions and comments, I more or less crave them, so leave them if you do want to know anything.
